A nerdy asian man and I came at a junction today.

He looked at me and I looked at him just like all people do every so often during the course of their days. Some people, and craigslist, call moments like this “missed connections”. I don’t think we need to glorify things like this really.

I read shame on his face. I didn’t know why and then, revealingly, he looked down at his feet. Socks. Sandals. Hairless. Feet. It was one of the most beautiful moments I’ve had all week because in this, probably, three second interaction we subliminally had the following discussion:

Him: Hey

Me: Hi

Him: Yeah… Hi.

Me: What?

Him: I don’t know… its… its my sandals.

Me: Yeah. You shouldn’t have left the house looking so silly. What kind of print is that on your shirt? What do you even do here? Why are you here? Are you a tourist? Why did you leave the house this way? What made you think this was a good idea? Stop looking at me. I can’t help you, but try and forget this so you can enjoy the rest of your day.

Him: Sorry.

Me: Listen. If you are going to do this again, lose the shame. Shame is unattractive. If you’re going to look silly again, OWN IT. Because that’s scary. This is what people fear the most. Because once you own it, you’re untouchable. No one will mess with you.

Him: I’m so glad the universe brought us together.

Me: I don’t know, I didn’t really get anything out of the deal. Not entirely true, I got a little bit of tenderness. And honesty…

Him: Maybe there’s something I could offer you?

Me: Can you make a new buzzworthy software that I can somehow represent and then become famous and make millions?

Him: I don’t know…

Me: OWN IT. SERIOUSLY. GET OUT OF HERE.

Seamless communication. I didn’t have to say any of this out loud. My body and my reactions did it all for me. And why didn’t I say any of this out loud?

Because I’m a nice person.