When I was six I used to go to the dentist. Pretty regularly. But things were different then. Then, I used to get a hot pink toothbrush and bring it home with a tiny tube of cotton candy flavored toothpaste that fit expertly in my hands. Sometimes I got stickers too, it was a good time.

Then we moved to Waltham, MA and I couldn’t go to the same dentist anymore. I went to a local dentist once thereafter and I decided if the experience wasn’t as nice, I wouldn’t go anymore. It wasn’t, so I didn’t. Also, my preferred dentist’s office overlooked a nice garden/seating area and it had giant window hangings in the shape of smiling toothbrushes. Ambiance is important

I continued living my life, I ate strawberries covered in sugar regularly as a kid. I ate candy. I ate various puddings and custards. I ate good stuff too, but I can’t stress the bad stuff enough.

Two years ago, I was 21 and I went to the dentist for the first time since I was six. I had been prolonging the experience in case the forbidding news was “well your teeth are worthless and we have to grind them down or rip them all out” I was prepared for picking out caps.

I went and saw a woman named Dimitra. She was a rightful amazon woman, if I’ve ever seen one. Which I now have. Very tall, large muscles in her arms, facial construction that’s sagged with time and built like an ox. I had a very hard time figuring out where to place my eye line. At first looked right into her eyes, which she didn’t like. Then I just looked at every bit of her that held my interest, which was all of her. She habitually stopped, undoubtedly, to try and decipher the reason for my erratic eye movements. Told her I was nervous.

The point is: everything was fine. She gave me a teeth cleaning, and then she sent me on my way. I told her I hadn’t been to the dentist in a very long time. She said “good”. A woman of few words.

I don’t trust dentists. Except for Dimitra, now. Or common advice. Maybe I’ve just been lucky. Or maybe going to the dentist twice a year is a crock. Maybe all advice is a crock. I feel this way about most things. Dentists, doctors, mechanics, politicians, expert economists, chiropractors, accountants, baristas.

I live in constant institutional distrust.