I’m trying to launch a campaign to get fit.

I know, I’ve just lost by utilizing the word “trying”, but it’s true.  I don’t know if it’s going to work out because I’ve already associated bad things with all things healthily aerobic. I don’t know if I can “pick things up and put them down”. I don’t know if I can handle selling myself out and saddle up with the runners I despise. They take over beautiful parks, pulsing their need to be enjoyed. Quietly. Serenely. And with less ugly footwear.

I can’t pinpoint when this started happening either, but I’ve almost hit runners with my car enough times to think they’re just stupid. Because really, what am I supposed to say to their loved ones when their entrails are spilling out into the street and the ambulance has come to scrape their bodily remains off my car? “I’m sorry that your daughter is an idiot. Apparently having headphones in also makes you temporarily blind”. At this point, my driving skills have become a public service. Thank god I’m agile.

Ironic, how many runners must die every year while being incredibly careless, disregarding the rules of the road and finding the moment of their perish during their quest for healthy living. I’m sure the statistic is staggeringly high.

Fitting, the boston marathon is tomorrow. Making it impossible for cars to get anywhere near the runners for one whole day. I’d love nothing more than to  designate the day to getting a chair and watching them all go by while enjoying runner unfriendly activities.

I’ve decided to take up circuit training. Writing this instead of doing my taxes has helped make up my mind about runners. But I will do this:

Circuit Training at Home

If driving to the gym (much less working out in front of God and everybody) is a deterrent, Westcott recommends setting up a modified circuit at home. This way, you can also tailor your circuit to your fitness level. Beginners, for example, might use 5-pound weights and move up as their strength improves.

Your home circuit could go like this:

• 30 seconds of squats
• 30 seconds on a stationary bike, or jogging in place or on a treadmill

• 30 seconds of lunges (watch those knees!)
• 30 seconds of cycling or jogging

• 30 seconds of chest presses on a weight bench or sturdy table
• 30 seconds of cycling or jogging

• 30 seconds of bent-over rows on a weight bench or sturdy table
• 30 seconds of cycling or jogging
• 30 seconds of shoulder presses (push your arms straight overhead with palms facing out)
• 30 seconds of cycling or jogging
• 30 seconds of biceps curls
• 30 seconds of cycling or jogging
• Repeat the whole cycle at least three times.

Thanks Web MD!

Happy Marathon Monday! Do your taxes! I’m doing mine now! Or tomorrow.